Thoughts from the ammo line

[Valin]

Power Line

Scott Johnson

Feb. 1 2019

Ammo Grrrll provides a short course in GEEZER FORENSICS. She writes:

Sometimes, in the course of human events, your person of late, late middle age will sustain a strange injury which she has no idea how it occurred.

Let’s say that, despite trying to limit her coffee intake to under 12 cups a day, for some unknown reason, she still has trouble making it through an entire night without getting up to use the bathroom. Let’s further stipulate that she uses the time-honored “staying almost asleep” method of keeping her eyes shut on the way to the bathroom, during her time in the bathroom, and the return trip back to bed.

(Snip)

Is this what we have to look forward to now? Collisions with sliding glass doors, falls, scrapes and bruises, a nasty tear from running into a cactus, and burns from teacups? TEACUPS, for Pete’s sake! When my Primary Medical Consultant, Miguel the Produce Guy, quit his job at my supermarket, I was forced to rely on Woman’s World Magazine for my medical advice. “Drink more tea!” they suggested, “You will lose weight and it’s just chock-full of anti-oxidants.” Not a mumblin’ word about nuclear teacups in the microwave!

It occurs to me that being a senior is kind of like a Second Childhood only with more money. Remember Childhood when your limbs were a mass of scabs and scars, grass stains and floor burns? Here, a tumble down a hill on a piece of cardboard; there, a slide on bare knees across a wooden gym floor after the loose basketball; there, a collision in the dark with a barbed wire fence during Hide And Seek. And an impressive scar to show for it still.

(Snip)

That is what keeps me going – the knowledge that the human body is a truly miraculous healing machine. More slowly in late, late middle age, to be sure. But a miracle, nonetheless. Speaking of miracles, it appears that the Israelis may have cracked the code to cure cancer. Not a single country or government that supports BDS should get the benefit of it. Nor hateful anti-Semites in this country like the bigoted bigamist, Ms. Omar and her ilk. The Israelis would NEVER be that unforgiving, but I would. Hosanna in the Highest if this turns out to be accurate and not just another dashed hope.

Whatever was going on with my left wrist is almost better now. In the prophetic words of the late, great Emily Litella – God, remember when SNL was FUNNY??? – “Never mind.”