pookie18

Today's Toons 11/5/18

5 posts in this topic

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters C & L:

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In Case You Missed It Dept.:

 

The New York Police announced they will work with the FBI to track down who sent a tenth package made to look like a bomb to Democrats on Thursday. CNN headquarters in New York was evacuated when it also received a suspicious package. It's believed to have contained Real News.

 

Joe Biden called for calm Thursday after he became the tenth Democrat last week to be mailed a suspicious package. More information was coming out every hour. Senator Dianne Feinstein revealed she received a bomb in the mail last summer but decided not to say anything about it till now.

 

Hillary Clinton in an interview Sunday at first demurred about any plans to run for president in two years and when the audience groaned, she quickly added that she'd like the job. That's an understatement. You cannot imagine the tension at the Clinton family dinner table on Presidents Day.

 

Bill and Hillary Clinton announced the itinerary for their thirteen-city tour after the midterm elections where they will speak onstage and take questions. Had she been elected, you can imagine how Congress would have dealt with her e-mail scandal and Russia donations to the Foundation. By now the Clintons could have achieved their dream of being America's first two-impeachment family.

 

Barbra Streisand warned Monday that if Democrats don't win control of Congress she might move to Canada. Only in Hollywood do they decide to protest racism by threatening to move to the Great White North. You'll never hear stars say they're moving to Africa, unless there's a per diem.

 

Hillary Clinton began giving interviews to publicize her upcoming thirteen-city appearances on stage with Bill in which they will each give speeches and answer questions. Hillary indicated that she might run in 2020. I wish her luck with that, two years ago she had enough trouble walking.

 

-- Argus Hamilton

 

Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along an Iowa country road one evening when an old dairy cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't. The aged cow was struck and killed. Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened and pay them for the cow. She stayed in the car making phone calls.

 

About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.

 

"What happened to you," asked Hillary?

 

"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made passionate love to me."

 

"What did you tell them?" asked Hillary.

 

The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the door and said, 'I'm Hillary Clinton's driver and I've just killed the old cow.' The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it."

 

 

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5 minutes ago, Reiuxcat said:

Thanks for the toons Pookie. :-)

You're welcome, Rcat!

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22 minutes ago, mass55th said:

Thank's Pookie!! Have a great week!!

My pleasure & the same to you, mass55th!

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