Today's Toons 4/23/18

[pookie18]

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter T:

(Thank you, cartoonist Rex May)

 

In Case You Missed It Dept.:

 

Mark Zuckerberg insisted Facebook doesn't glean personal information in two grueling days of testimony to Congress. His stock went up three billion during his testimony. Zuckerberg got a little cocky Wednesday when he began addressing House members by their mother's maiden names.

 

FBI former director James Comey launches his book tour tonight with an interview on ABC News with fresh new gossip on President Trump. He is undoubtedly the FBI's biggest drama queen since J. Edgar Hoover. FBI groupies can only speculate how tall Comey would be in high heels.

 

President Trump went on TV and ordered an air attack and missile attack on Syria to destroy facilities that are used to make and store chemical weapons. On Friday evening, the president issued a two-word order to all U.S. sea-based Tomahawk missiles in the Eastern Mediterranean. You're fired!

 

President Trump declared Mission Accomplished Friday after an Allied raid destroyed Syrian poison gas-making facilities. It's a miracle no Americans were killed. The very morning after Donald Trump was elected president Syria agreed to take in ten thousand refugees from Beverly Hills.

 

President Trump took to Twitter Saturday to declare that the Allied bombing raid on chemical plants and airfields in Syria was a complete success. It was lucky for the U.S. that no American businesses in Syria were struck. That's because the U.S. has no WalMarts in Damascus, only Targets.

 

Wall Street surged Monday and then took a deep dive after the news was reported that the FBI had raided President Trump's lawyer's office. The steep dive scared everybody. At the end of the day, the numbers at the New York Stock Exchange were so low, people thought Jimmy Kimmel was hosting it.

 

Stormy Daniels showed up at Manhattan Federal Courthouse Monday for Trump's lawyer's Michael Cohen's hearing. Outside the courthouse, the porn star stood at a lectern and addressed reporters from behind a bank of microphones. Out of habit, she spoke into the one covered in rubber.

 

President Trump was happy to tell a Florida group that all one hundred Tomahawk missiles hit their targets in Syria. Things never go completely your way. The U.S. missiles were so accurate, Special Counsel Robert Mueller has begun investigating Trump for colluding with Werner von Braun.

 

James Comey released his book Sunday and was met with a storm of publicity. He was ripped by Clinton people for costing Hillary the election and by Trump people for countenancing a Deep State resistance to Trump's presidency. Jim Comey's fame is fading out faster than a Syrian parakeet.

 

President Trump announced he'll meet with Kim Jung Un in May for de-nuclearization talks in May just as North and South Korea agreed to discuss an end to the war. Does the media realize what this means? If Trump wins the Nobel Peace Prize, they're going to need to get a bigger porn star.

 

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said Tuesday he won't put legislation on the floor to protect Robert Mueller from being fired. It's gotten out of hand. We were supposed to find out if Russia elected Trump, and Stormy Daniels just introduced her own line of lubricants called Collusion.

 

The Treasury Department forecast record revenues this year as the economy heats up from the tax cuts. However the IRS website crashed on Tax Day, and the system went down preventing millions of Americans from paying their U.S. income taxes on time. Well played, Vladimir, well played.

 

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said the American public is weary of non-stop party warfare in Washington. The good news is, there was finally a bi-partisan agreement between one hundred percent of Democrats and Republicans. James Comey must now register as an Independent.

 

-- Argus Hamilton

 

 

[mass55th]

Thanks Pookie!! Have a great week!!

 

[Reiuxcat]

Thanks for the toons Pookie. :-)

[pookie18]

3 hours ago, mass55th said:

Thanks Pookie!! Have a great week!!

 

You're welcome & the same to you, mass55th!

[pookie18]

1 hour ago, Reiuxcat said:

Thanks for the toons Pookie. :-)

My pleasure, Rcat!