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Today's Toons 10/30/17


pookie18

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Click below for Tony's toons:

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters C & W:

 

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In Case You Missed It Dept.:

 

Harvey Weinstein's accusers claim he forced them to watch him take a shower, and then sexually pleasure him afterwards. Something's not right about the D.A. ordering a criminal probe. If shower sex is Harvey's thing, then sending him to prison is a classic case of rewarding bad behavior.

 

The Louisville Courier reported that a boy in Kentucky is under medical observation now after he fell asleep two weeks ago and he remained asleep for eleven straight days. The doctors at the hospital are very concerned. They fear he's coming down with a case of being a government employee.

 

George W. Bush gave a speech last week and eviscerated Trump supporters as throwbacks to an ugly era in U.S. history while praising the voices of moderation. The speech had the medical community talking. Doctors are reportedly baffled after a mute man spoke after eight years of silence.

 

The New York Post said Harvey Weinstein is saying in rehab that all his sexual liaisons with actresses were consensual. Thousands of actresses have come forward in social media with similar stories about producers and directors. Hollywood just declared itself a sanctuary city for dirty old men.

 

Harvey Weinstein was evicted from the Producers Guild for sexual misconduct after scores of actresses said he promised them film roles in return for sexually pleasuring him. He appears to be incorrigible. Twenty bucks says that Harvey Weinstein's next movie will star his nurse in sex rehab.

 

L.A. congresswoman Maxine Waters in a speech Sunday vowed to take out President Trump. It is the first-ever public presidential assassination threat by a Member of Congress. Usually the FBI ignores a threat like this from Los Angeles, because nine times out of ten it's just the cocaine talking.

 

The Hollywood Reporter reported that Showtime cable network has just struck a deal with Bill Clinton's literary agent to serialize the novel Clinton co-wrote with James Patterson into a cable series drama. The former president just wrote a crime novel. The working title is My Life with Hillary.

 

GOP senator Jeff Flake gave a speech ripping Trump Tuesday and declared he won't run for re-election as GOP senator Bob Corker ripped Trump and dropped out. Two guys become beloved heroes because they surrendered. So tell me again what the media has against Confederate statues?

 

The NFL suffered dismal attendance at games in San Francisco, in Miami, and in Cleveland Sunday. The scandal will come when CBS is caught using audience cheers and applause from the old I Love Lucy show when the home team scores. Listen for Desi's laugh during the TD celebrations.

 

George HW Bush apologized after actress Heather Lind claimed he sexually fondled her when they posed for a photo four years ago. She said he groped her twice from his wheelchair, then he told her a dirty joke. And everybody wonders what JFK would have been like had he lived to be a hundred.

 

Hollywood comedian George Lopez was booed off the stage at the Denver Carousel Ball show last weekend for telling nasty jokes ripping President Trump. Americans have a unique way of revealing just what jokes we will tolerate and what jokes we will not tolerate. We let the voters decide.

 

A California grade school put up a scarecrow that looks like President Trump Friday. Nothing has changed. Forty percent of the kids think that the scarecrow is doing a great job, forty percent of the kids have threatened to move to Canada, and twenty percent of the kids moved home to Mexico.

 

GOP outgoing senators Jeff Flake and Bob Corker resumed their attacks on President Trump Wednesday. Flake and Corker sounds like a Hollywood cocaine and wine bar. On Tuesday, when Jeff Flake and Corker threw in the towel, John McCain declared that he had half a mind to join them.

 

-- Argus Hamilton

 

In a late night vote yesterday, the Senate made it illegal to sue a bank. Which is why today, Harvey Weinstein petitioned to become a bank.

 

-- Conan

 

 

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9 minutes ago, mass55th said:

Happy Monday Pookie!! Thanks for the Toons, and I hope you have a great week!!

My pleasure, as ever & the same to you, mass55th!

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