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Today's Toons 2/27/17


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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters C & L:

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In Case You Missed It Dept.:

 

The Oscars ceremony next week promises to be a festive night of Trump bashing. It's a tough town. Caitlyn Jenner had to win the Olympic Men's Decathlon, father four Kardashians, change sexes and get a boob job before she could look Hollywood in the eye and admit she was a Republican.

 

Fifty Shades Darker pulled in one hundred fifty million at the box office last week. It's about a billionaire and his mistress in an S&M relationship. People get so aroused by bondage, spanking and domination that President Trump has been advised to schedule one press conference every week.

 

NBC's Meet the Press Host Chuck Todd cried foul Thursday over President Trump's bashing the media into public de-legitimization. The latest poll shows America's public trust in the media is at fourteen percent. To give you an idea of where that number stands, Cosby is at sixteen percent.

 

Americans awoke Friday to a beautiful day and went to work, after which they met for dinner, then went to a movie, and came home to enjoy late-night talk show hosts joking about sex, sports and Hollywood. It was nice. One a year America observes A Day without Trump Derangement Syndrome.

 

The Senate confirmed Oklahoma's Attorney General Scott Pruitt to head the Environmental Protection Agency. He sued the EPA on behalf of energy companies. After confirmation in the Senate, he flew to Wyoming for the groundbreaking of the Yellowstone National Park and Refinery.

 

Kim Jung Un had half-brother Kim Jong-nam assassinated by poison Thursday in Malaysia's airport. It's disheartening. Did you ever think as a kid, that by the time you grew up, eating dogs would have fallen to sixth or seventh on the list of things you wished they'd stop doing in North Korea?

 

The Senate confirmed climate change skeptic Scott Pruitt to head the EPA. Ten years ago, the scientists warned that global warming was killing off polar bears, however it turns out that their numbers multiplied. Now scientists say that climate change has made polar bears sexually aggressive.

 

Hollywood celebrities protested Monday against U.S. immigration agents rounding up criminal illegal immigrants in Los Angeles and deporting them. The stars were outraged. It's funny how the same people who said they were leaving America are so upset that people are having to leave America.

 

President Trump was ridiculed by the press for mentioning Muslim rioting in Stockholm in his speech Saturday because they thought Trump had made it up, however the rioting happened. The media didn't apologize to Trump. They'll fly Harrison Ford's Short Hop Airlines before that happens.

 

Los Angeles had a few hundred Democratic protestors marching in a Not My President's Day parade against Donald Trump's presidency Monday. Naturally the protests were led by Hollywood celebrities. This year, the Oscar gift baskets will include crying towels, teething rings and baby rattles.

 

The Academy Awards Show director said Thursday he will not discourage Oscar winners from making controversial political comments in their speeches. The entertainment industry's anger over losing the election is palpable. Hollywood celebrated Presidents Day by pretending we don't have one.

 

President Trump spoke to a crowd of seven thousand in Florida Saturday where he compared himself to Lincoln, who also was always at war with the press. What about his war with actors? The comparison to Lincoln reminded the Secret Service to tell Trump never to sit in front of Meryl Streep.

 

Breitbart News conservative icon Milo Yiannopoulos resigned from the website Tuesday amid a media firestorm over an old tape that surfaced showing him to be half-defending the practice of pedophilia. The liberal media won't stand for any pretenders. There'll always be only one King of Pop.

 

O.J. Simpson may get out prison this summer after serving nine years of his thirty-three-year armed robbery sentence. Believe it or not, O.J.'s been playing first base for the prison's Aryan Nations softball team. So Barack Obama's quest to bring Americans together wasn't a total failure

 

Senate Democrats accused the White House of playing politics by freeing ICE agents to deport illegals. Imagine their dismay. Under President Trump, if the Democrats want to increase the size of their party, they'll have to do it by having straight sex like the Republicans do, no more ordering in.

 

President Trump signed an executive order Wednesday that reverses President Obama's order to allow transgenders to use any public restroom or gym shower they want. It was a huge election issue. Imagine the mischief Bill Clinton could have gotten away with by identifying as the First Lady.

 

-- Argus Hamilton

 

Another big story is Trump's ongoing feud with the media. Especially his tweet where he called the press "the enemy of the American people." And the American people said, "No, that would still be kale. No one likes kale."

 

John McCain actually praised Trump's new national security adviser, H.R. McMaster, calling him an outstanding choice and a man of genuine intellect, character, and ability. Then Trump said, "In that case, forget it. Get me Steven Seagal."

 

-- Jimmy Fallon

 

 

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